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cheapbag214s
Posted: Fri 3:46, 30 Aug 2013
Post subject: Les Cadeaux-spun4
Les Cadeaux
Do you remember the scene in 揃ridget Jones?Diary?where she and Daniel Cleaver get through to the lovely country inn for their mini-break weekend, having driven towards the inn via sassy convertible? And Bridget gamely stands there in her Jackie O sunglasses and cute little outfit, together with her hair blown all to hell inside a giant ratty bouffant from the drive? I hope you do, because friends, that's me.
I'm Therefore the girl who takes an extra 20 minutes to make sure her outfit is ideal after which promptly sits in gum, or the girl who dashes for a cab in heels, hoping for a Holly Golightly-Carrie Bradshaw effect but managing instead to trip on the pothole and grab onto the cab抯 trunk in order to break the fall. Or even the girl who forever misjudges what look is suitable for what gatherings, and shows up for beers with Big Investment Bank co-workers inside a stupid t-shirt and smoky eye makeup (which, towards the end of the night is inevitably smeared from eye to cheek to hairline) rather than smart twin-set separates and a manicure.
I am the girl who fell within the subway turnstile coupled with to limp home, bleeding, and I am the girl who wore sneakers and bad jeans to a chic gay dance club . I am the lady who cannot get her hair straight and who were left with a huge scab on her nose after hearing that toothpaste can dry up blemishes (it dried up the teeny tiny zit, and left a huge chemical burn on my skin in return). I am the girl that has a bug fly into her eye on a date AND GET STUCK THERE,
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, and i'm the lady whose pants will always be falling down and whose bra-strap keeps slipping down her arm.
I would like to be able to wear all white this will let you bouncy ponytail, but the second I pull on my white pants I have a tendency to clean facing something a) dirty, b) greasy, and c) unidentifiable.
I抦 sure I抳e covered this sooner or later on this site, but I am always, ALWAYS almost pulled-together, but never completely there. And something of the reasons I love my pal BritGirl a lot is because she's immediately alongside me, almost pulled together but feeling Only one Smart Pair of Shoes away from it. She always looks great to me, but at the same time, is the one individual who can understand the belittling experience of walking in to the Ralph Lauren store on 72nd Street on the hot summer day,
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, (揙h, this is a high end store. Maybe you may want to browse next door at Ralph Lauren SPORT.? Otherwise known as the Get Thee Back To Brooklyn store, where the sizes are rumored to go above 2,
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, perhaps even as high at 8.) But I digress.
Our friend Pastry is recently engaged. And Pastry,
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, while not necessarily always pulled together, is a beautiful Poreless Wonder. She's perfect skin and a perfect body along with a perfect tan along with a perfect fianc?and it is just perfect perfect PERFECT. She just got engaged (having a perfect engagement story) and is planning her perfect wedding and on Saturday BritGirl took her to test dresses for the first time. And, because she is perfect, the initial dress she placed on was The Dress, and choirs of angels sang out, babies clapped, flowers bloomed and she looked gorgeous and, well卲erfect.
Pastry is one of my close friends and that i love her dearly. I really, really do. However i take a look at myself ?unshaved legs and zits and bad hair and WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING WITH My entire life, after which I take a look at her: smooth skin, lovely face,
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, blond hair, perfect body, generous in-laws-to-be, sunshine and butterflies and ice cream cones. It抯 hard. I mean, the lady is PERFECT -- she met her fianc?on a blind date and his parents basically send them bags of cash within the mail and they've said they抣l give them a payment in advance like a wedding gift and she is definitely cute and perky and everyone loves her and wishes to help her and take care of her. It抯 just like a ray of sunshine just follows Pastry around,
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, wherever she goes. And also the very last thing I want is for that sun to stop shining on her, I swear. Among the finest just a little personally, sometimes. Okay, all the time.
However i had a point,
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, once upon a time. That is that perfect isn抰 always so perfect.
BritGirl and that i had breakfast yesterday morning, fresh off a weekend of feeling fat,
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, blemished and bitter. (She'd shown up inside my store on Saturday after taking a look at dresses with Pastry, frappaccino at hand. 揑 felt just like a whale, so I got the most fattening drink I could find and came straight here,?she said. 揋ood girl?I told her. BritGirl is, by the way, an attractive size zero pixie waif with adorable hair along with a sassy British accent, but I can commiserate using the Whale Tendencies.) We ate croissants with ham and cheese and sat within the little park near my apartment, watching all of the perfect Brooklyn mommies using their Bugaboo strollers. 揑 hate her,?I told BritGirl, eying the glowing mother with funky pigtails and a peasant skirt. 揋ood. I hate her,?BritGirl answered, pointing with the remains of her croissant to the mother nursing with one arm, talking on her behalf cell phone with the other. 揑 hate everyone,?I sighed. 揑 wish I lived somewhere filled with poor, infertile individuals with bad taste and cheap shoes.? BritGirl nodded. 揕et抯 spend money,?she offered encouragingly. 揗aybe expensive t-shirts are what we need.?/P>
Apparently , expensive t-shirts aren't what we needed, as they show body fat roll above our jeans nearly as much as the cheap tops do. It also turns out that expensive t-shirts continue to be sold exclusively by skinny whores with bad manners in overprices boutiques. But there is a contented ending to the morning. Following a delicious breakfast and some significant gossip, we came to one's heart of the matter: we are not perfect; we are better. We fight with our husbands and get pimples and blisters and clothes never fit us right and we are frustrated with our careers and also have no clue what we should are doing and that we drink an excessive amount of and exercise not enough, but WHO CARES because we're fun and young and interesting.
Only then do we went and bought new sandals,
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.
I swear that I am not a shallow person. New footwear is not the panacea to all my ills -- if perhaps life were so simple. But time with a good friend heals like nothing else, and that i came home from my morning with BritGirl feeling happy and secure, despite the mess which i may be most days. The fact is that the last six weeks have been really stressful for me personally and I抳e had a rough summer so far. You can try me and see it written all over my face. But after hanging out with BritGirl, I felt a bit more convinced that my flaws tend to be more than that in the eyes of people who care about me. That is after i chose to put on my stretchy pants and watch A 揚ride Prejudice?miniseries. Also known as the MOST BESTEST THING EVER.
2 hours later I was back on the phone with BritGirl. 揑 know! I totally know!?I had been saying to her. 揑 would not want to be Jane!? 揥e are Elizabeth!?she yelled back. 揚astry is Jane and it抯 okay because she抯 our friend but you and me are Elizabeth!? I slurped my margarita, nodding at the phone. 揈lizabeth may be the sexy one anyway,
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,?I said. 揚lus, she抯 brunette!? BritGirl yelled back at me, 揑 know! I KNOW! We抮e fabulous! Even with fat rolls that hang over our jeans!? 揑 love our fat rolls,?I told her. 揊lat bellies are stupid and ordinary. We抮e sexy and they are our rolls.? 揌uzzah!?she said. I slurped my agreement.
And that's why it抯 so important to have friends who understand that a) you can wear a size 6 and still seem like a whale, b) a great fattening breakfast cures almost all, and c) everything really matters is to locate individuals who like us, just like we are.
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